Let’s say your hood is up and you’re walking down a cold, dark alley on a lightless, rainy night.  You’re immersed in the type of thoughts that occupy your mind completely but really aren’t fully formulated in any way, which is to say that your head is swimming in next to nothing.  Let’s also put your headphones in your ears and call the Black Keys’ “Chulahoma” what you're listening to (which is tremendous dark alley music).  As you’re strolling along with your mind chewing hard on nothing-thoughts and you’re otherwise minding your own p’s and q’s, a faceless nobody suddenly jumps out of the shadows and shouts in your general direction, “Hey you, asshole – The 1980’s!”.  What comes to your mind?

If you would have laid that scenario out in front of me a few weeks ago, I probably would have said big hair, my brother’s sweet Z. Cavaricci pants (tightrolled of course), Van Halen and Rubik’s Cube – probably in that order.  But, it’s been worthwhile to dismantle my misguided perceptions of 80’s yesterdays.  As we continue to pick an album for each year, the intent is to use the divisions to help make some organized sense out of each decade.  The 80’s are not what I thought they were, as it turns out.  In any event, below is a breakdown of what we’ve chronicled thus far.

Albums

1980:  Talking Heads – Remain In Light (Ramones Division)

1981:  Jaco Pastorius – Word of Mouth (Miles Division)

1982:  John Mellencamp – American Fool (Dylan Division)

1983:  The Police – Synchronicity (Ramones Division)

1984:  Van Halen – 1984 (Zeppelin Division)

1985:  Tom Waits – Rain Dogs (Dylan Division)

1986:  Stevie Ray Vaughan – Live Alive (Allmans Division)

1987:  Guns N’ Roses – Appetite for Destruction (Zeppelin Division)

1988:  Pixies – Surfer Rosa (Ramones Division)

1989:  De La Soul – 3 Feet High and Rising (Miles Division)

Divisions

Ramones Division:  3 Albums

Dylan Division:  2 Albums

Zeppelin Division:  2 Albums

Miles Division:  2 Albums

Allmans Division:  1 Album
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There you have it.  The Ramones were the most seminal and dominant influence of the 1980's.  It's now been scientifically proven.  I, for one, feel considerably better about the decade of my birth.  We'll start with the 90's tomorrow.  Flannels, Doc Marten's boots and other misconceptions coming at you.
 


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